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Friday, December 7, 2012

Penelope Trunk, Kate Middleton And What It Adds Up To


I am late with this post. As you can see, up until now I always managed to publish a new post on Wednesday. Maybe I should change the date on this one just so I stay uniform. But I am not uniform and I am not on time either, so I think I will just have to accept it. 

It's Christmas time and I am also late with presents. The problem with living an ocean apart from your family is that you can't just go shopping on December 23rd, which is what I would normally do. My friend Milina and I would proudly go shopping last minute every year when we were still living together in our home town, which now feels like at least one thousand years ago. Now I have to take into account things like shipping. I have to wait for things to arrive in the mail, because I do most of my shopping online, and then I have to mail everything to Slovakia and Germany, and once I realize I'm not going to make it in time, then I feel like it doesn't really matter if it arrives one week or one month after Christmas.

In pregnancy news the highlight of my week was Kate Middleton's hospitalization for hyperemesis gravidarum. I wrote another blog post about it that you should read if you haven't already.
That and a couple of other things lead me to realize that I am not calling things what they are and it's damaging in the end. I did not call my morning sickness hyperemesis gravidarum before, because I try not to be a drama queen. But then people get the wrong impression that I complain about pregnancy for no good reason, other than I like to whine a lot. I don't whine a lot and I think that after a month of vomiting daily and vomiting blood, while on anti-nausea medication, it is time to say that this is not just your regular morning sickness or food aversion that is typical for the first trimester. 

There are two reasons why I came to think about this - one was reading the comments to articles about Kate that were saying how she just needs to eat more protein, or try acupuncture, or stop stressing, or similar bullshit that has absolutely no effect on hyperemesis. Ginger, protein, B6 and little portions help with morning sickness. They do absolutely nothing for hyperemesis. You just vomit small portions full of protein and vitamin B6. 

The second reason is that I took an online seminar with Penelope Trunk called "How to Write About Your Life". The seminar was just as interesting as I expected it to be, even though in the end not as helpful as I hoped it to be. But Penelope agreed to critique the participants' blog posts, which was incredibly cool (I say cool, because I know she's dying to be cool and to be known as cool). I sent her my blog post "What You Want Is Not Always Worth It" and her response was that she was floored by the first paragraph and it instantly got her attention (because per her, she has never heard a woman say the kid is not worth it), but the post then went on to just bitching about pregnancy, which is boring, because every woman that is pregnant deals with it, and some have it worse, like Kate Middleton. So I re-read my post and realized I did not make it clear that I am like Kate Middleton, only without the royal family. And that the impact of the hyperemesis on my personal life, which was the whole point of that post, gets lost because the reader doesn't care to listen to me whining about pregnancy. I might rewrite that piece, because I think her advice is spot on and very useful. 

But it also made me feel like this blog is pointless, because - as Penelope bluntly points out - readers don't necessarily care about your life, they care about what they can relate to, and clearly there is barely anybody who can relate to hyperemesis. So I was doubtful and I felt down, and didn't publish a post on Wednesday as I always do. I was (and still am) trying to figure out what is the best thing to do, because I care about the readers and I care about my blog being successful. And right now I am a little bit unsure of the right direction. 

8 comments:

  1. I am sure she is a nice lady but please. Don't women hold up half the sky? Say 1/4 of the 50% get pregnant. The rest of the people know at least one woman who has been pregnant. Don't forget all the birthworkers out there and those studying things all pregnancy. You are declaring your truth about pregnancy. There are plenty of people who can relate and/or learn from you.

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    1. Joy - I think your answer proves that I was never good in math or statistics. Thank you for your comment!

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  2. Please keep writing. I am just over 5 weeks with my first and I find your posts very interesting!

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    1. Well, then it's a done deal. See you all next Wednesday!

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  3. Ajka, prosim ta, neprestan pisat! Ide ti to super a ja sa vzdy tesim na tvoje blogy, aj ked uz mam deti vacsie a presla som si svojimi tehotenstvami :)

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  4. I like the realistic sometimes negative side of your posts because it gives me an idea of what I may be in store for one day. Everyone says its all roses but after watching some friends suffer I suspect its often not. Thanks for sharing the tough stuff with us

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