Wednesday, May 15, 2013
For eight months now I have been sharing my journey through Pregoland with you. I have told you about my fears of getting pregnant. I have disclosed the super speedy conception success. I have shared with you the picture of a stick I peed on. You have seen my biggest nightmare of repeated hyperemesis gravidarum coming true and read about the changes my body and mind have gone through. Sometimes you laughed, sometimes you cringed and I imagine sometimes you wondered if I lost my mind.
But as much as it is I who has been growing the baby inside of me, there is another person who has been there all along dealing with this pregnancy - my husband. I think a simple fact of him knowing about this blog and still sticking around says it all. But I want to spell it out for the whole wide world today. He is amazing. You can now jump to Thesaurus and find all the synonyms for amazing and he is all that and more.
He is a rock, if rock can be sensitive and caring at the same time. He is supportive and encouraging but without the annoying cheerleading approach. When I am mad and crying and yelling I can't do this anymore, he takes me in his arms and thanks me for growing our baby for us.
He works longer days than you can or want to imagine, then rushes home to take care of Kai so I can crawl in bed and feel sorry for myself (and when Kai is in bed, he continues to work some more). He is insanely patient and never complains. I have been thinking about this a lot lately - I complain all the time! I blog about my frustrations, I share them on Facebook and Twitter, I tell everybody who is willing to listen. He just keeps going.
For 236 days now he has been listening to "I am not feeling well" and he still gives a shit and responds and asks what he can do to make it better. He deals with work stress and bills that need to get paid and a toddler that throws tantrums and an empty fridge and a moody wife and some random dog that keeps pooping in our driveway every day and he is never mean.
I met Peter in a very strange time of my life, very shortly after my marriage ended in a (for me and at the time) shocking and unexpected way. And I often think about that timing and the fact that I was this close to never meeting Peter. Or to never start dating him. I was THIS CLOSE to missing out on the best guy in the Universe who makes me laugh and love and trust and be daring and do insane things so that he can get a good snapshot of me skiing down the mountain.
I would end this with some sappy heartbreaking romantic quote, but I don't have one, so I will just say cheers to him and cheers to me for being this lucky.
PS: And he is hot. Have I mentioned he is really hot?
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
If you are reading this post after seeing the title, you are either very brave or you googled "vagina snot" because you are experiencing it too and there is no better description for it. Or both. I think we have already established that this blog is not for the faint of heart. At 32 weeks of pregnancy, the picture of a woman as a dainty delicate flower growing peacefully under a glowing sun in the heart of a magical forest has been cruelly stained by realities of puking, farting, swollen ankles, hemorrhoids, varicose veins and yes - the vagina snot. And the fact that the discomforts of your growing belly and loosening joints make you skip shower more often than you would ever care to admit doesn't help much.
During pregnancy, a mucous plug fills and seals the cervical canal to prevent bacteria from entering into your uterus. Do yourselves a favor and don't google the term. People apparently take pictures of these when they come out and post them on internet. If you think this blog post is gross, think again. The mucous plug eventually starts to come out. Sometimes it's just little pieces over a long period of time, sometimes it comes out in one big blob. If the big blob is streaked with blood, then that is called a "bloody show" and it means that labor is near. I have no idea who came up with these horrible terms. Probably somebody like me.
In the final stretch of the pregnancy (yes, I choose to call it the final stretch, even if it is still 8 weeks to go, and if you disagree, just shut up now and forever hold your peace) the body starts preparing for the baby to come out. I am not sure if you have ever seen a life size baby doll and a life size pelvis model side by side. I have, in my prenatal classes three years ago. There is nothing right about it. The fit clearly doesn't work. And then there is the vagina opening which most definitely does not fit the size of a newborn head either. So the body has to make some adjustments. Transformers style. At the moment, my pelvic bones are shifting. This is known as SPD or symphysis pubic dysfunction. Things are moving and realigning and if you haven't guessed it yet, it's painful. It's terribly painful. Your lower back and your crotch feel like they are being pulled apart and stabbed over and over, which in return makes you want to stab somebody just to get even. This explains why women nearing birth are often edgy and why this post sounds the way it does.
So yes, let's talk about those images of women with their naked bellies and long hair flowing over their massive boobs. I am all for a positive body image. I am all about the empowerment of women. I am in awe about the creation of a new life and the process of pregnancy - I truly am. And I love it if you feel like the sexiest woman on Earth now that you are about to become a mother. But I have something to say to you in case you don't - even if what you see in the magazines and media is this, those beautiful creatures still have the same vagina snot coming out of them. So don't beat yourself over not feeling sexy enough. There is nothing wrong with feeling like an unsightly whale and look forward to be able to fit into your normal clothes again. One way or another, it's all fine.
PS: After writing this post, I have come to realize that I might possibly never get laid again.
PPS: I would like to thank my very brave and overall incredible husband for sticking around, despite the existence of this blog. You're still coming home for dinner, right, honey?
Thursday, April 25, 2013
This is what I am not good at - I am not good at writing, or doing anything for that matter, when the kid is around. The kid has been sick for a while now, so I am at home with him doing nothing. But it has been 2 weeks since my last post and soon enough there will be a baby in the house that will be attached to my hip for a very long time and I need to suck it up and figure out how to make it work.
I will be 31 weeks pregnant tomorrow. We started getting ready for the big arrival. The crib is up. The clothes are washed. The car seat has been pulled out from the storage box. The rocking chair has been stripped of an unbelievable amount of cat hair. We went to check out the hospital in which I will be giving birth. I am not sure who has time to watch flat screen TV once the baby is born, but there will be one in the room. (One of each - flat screen TV and the baby, presumably.)
When I was expecting Kai, I put a lot of thought and research into birth options. I took prenatal classes. You can read a funny story about it here. I educated myself, wrote down a birth plan and then followed it. It was easy to stick with, since it went like this:
- see what happens
- try to make it without an epidural
- don't panic too much
- get an epidural
- push it out as quickly as possible
- try not to freak out if they hand me a baby covered in slime
- see what happens
Friday, April 12, 2013
I have several pregnancy apps on my iPhone. I have a book about pregnancy. I participate in a pregnancy online forum. It might seem like an overload of information, but some of it is repetitive. Especially the format addressing any discomforts that Mom has to face seems uniform: "You might be experiencing severe nausea and vomiting, and possibly will need to get fluids via IV to prevent dehydration, but don't worry - your baby is fine!" Or: "Your baby is pushing on your lungs and you feel out of breath, but fortunately your baby is not aware of this."
I understand that the health of the baby is the most important thing. In theory. In reality, I am still concerned about me. I am concerned about the kid I already have and how is it going to effect him when Mommy is unable to eat or breathe. It angers me that the woman carrying the child is pushed to the side, because oh well, pregnancy can be pesky, but of course she should only be grateful. I don't understand the logic behind the "don't complain, there are people who have it worse than you." It's nice to see things put in perspective and realize how lucky we are once in a while. But I am tired of having to apologize for feeling bad or complaining about that.
Sunday, April 7, 2013
This is how a pregnant Mom blogger parties! Ladies and Gentlemen, it's a pleasure to be a part of the Ultimate Blog Party 2013. This is my first year participating. You have to admit that comforts of virtual partying are numerous - no need to travel, dress up or even shower (I have been overly successful in all of the three recently and probably should not be admitting to it so easily). Not that I don't love travel, dress up and shower, but being pregnant and a Mom to a 2-year-old demands some lifestyle changes.
Let me introduce myself and my blog. I was born and raised in Slovakia. I spent the first 10 years of my life under communistic regime and was scarred for life - I always expect customer service representatives to yell at me. I got a degree in molecular biology and then decided to go search for my true calling. Ironically, this brought me to Long Island, New York, where I spent the next two years as a live in nanny. I went through one marriage with not such a great ending and then upgraded to a better one. I now live and write in Central Coast, California, and spend my time with husband 2.0, two-year-old son and two cats.
My first pregnancy was a great shock for me. Most of my scientific education about pregnancy came from People magazine and interviews with celebrities who made it sound like the most magical time of their lives. I read all about the love and gratitude, shiny hair and cute baby bumps, adorable outfits and natural births, and then saw photos 4 weeks postpartum, in which they were strutting down the runway in a tiny bikini. Somehow I was not warned about the brutal morning sickness, back pains, swollen feet, constipation, hemorrhoids, strange odors, tiredness, shortness of breath and such.
I knew all about the incredible love for the baby that you will never experience until you become a mother, but hadn't heard much about that love taking its time to show up in it's full glory. It was a rude awakening.
So when we made the decision to go for the baby #2, I decided to blog about the whole experience - from the conception through birth and beyond, and speak truthfully about both good and bad. I am currently 28 weeks pregnant and you can read about this roller coaster ride on this blog.
Now let's party!