This is what I am not good at - I am not good at writing, or doing anything for that matter, when the kid is around. The kid has been sick for a while now, so I am at home with him doing nothing. But it has been 2 weeks since my last post and soon enough there will be a baby in the house that will be attached to my hip for a very long time and I need to suck it up and figure out how to make it work.
I will be 31 weeks pregnant tomorrow. We started getting ready for the big arrival. The crib is up. The clothes are washed. The car seat has been pulled out from the storage box. The rocking chair has been stripped of an unbelievable amount of cat hair. We went to check out the hospital in which I will be giving birth. I am not sure who has time to watch flat screen TV once the baby is born, but there will be one in the room. (One of each - flat screen TV and the baby, presumably.)
When I was expecting Kai, I put a lot of thought and research into birth options. I took prenatal classes. You can read a funny story about it here. I educated myself, wrote down a birth plan and then followed it. It was easy to stick with, since it went like this:
- see what happens
- try to make it without an epidural
- don't panic too much
- get an epidural
- push it out as quickly as possible
- try not to freak out if they hand me a baby covered in slime
- see what happens
The second time around I have a much better idea about what I am getting myself into. And I have realized that birthing process just doesn't matter to me. The baby is in and sometimes around 40 weeks it needs to get out. I am hoping things will go smooth, I won't tear too much, I won't need a C-section and we go home the next day (at the latest). I am hoping I will not be peeing my pants and sex won't hurt much (I had both happening for a while after the first one).
This is not to say I don't care about maternal and infant care. I wrote about this previously. I was very pleased to see recent report about US infant mortality rates finally dropping again. I was horrified to read that African-American women are 3 times more likely to die from pregnancy and childbirth than Caucasian counterparts. I guess I know that I am lucky to be in a position where I can afford a good prenatal healthcare and give birth as safely as possible.
But as far as my feelings about childbirth go - I have none. I know women who consider giving birth a spiritual journey for them and the babies that are being welcomed into this world. I know women who care greatly about not exposing their babies and themselves to any drugs. I know women who dread hospitals as places in which they are treated as numbers, pushed into C-sections and inducements that are not necessary. I know women who would never consider home birth to be a safe way to deliver a baby, without ever doing their research and talking to a midwife. I know women who had an amazing experience with home births. I know women who are ready for an epidural as soon as they hit week 36, just in case. I find myself just shrugging my shoulders. I can't find myself being passionate about one way or another. In about 9 weeks I just have to make it work and get her out.