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Saturday, March 9, 2013

One Kid Two Kids

The picture above was taken this morning. It's Saturday, Peter is attending the annual "Manboree" weekend event, and Kai and I are hanging out in bed, each with our own electronic device. He has a bottle of water next to him and I am sipping on a cup of decaf. 

If I saw a picture like that about a year ago, I would think to myself: "How is this good for the kid? Who gives a video pad to a child?" Kai didn't watch any TV for the first two years of his life. One reason being I was very much against it, the second one that those few times when I felt like we both really needed a break and turned it on for him, he didn't care. There were days I wished he would pay attention to a show, just so I could sit down for 5 minutes, but Kai always thought I was overreacting and should be thankful he was such an active little monster with a propeller in his butt (as Slovak saying goes).

But I am loving this morning. I love being able to stay in bed late with Kai snuggled next to me. I hit the week 24 in pregnancy and the fact that there will be another baby here very soon is becoming more real. I am becoming aware that before we know it, the life we have right now will be rocked and changed forever. One evening we were sitting at the table eating dinner and Peter said: "In a few years we won't even remember what life was like with one kid only. It will be totally natural for us to have two kids." I keep thinking about that sentence lately. 

It's not that I am not looking forward to add another kid to the family. It was never a question - we always wanted more than one. But I know that the time we have left with Kai as an only child is getting shorter and it makes me feel nostalgic, kind of like when you are on a perfect vacation and you know in a few days you have to head back home. It's not that you don't want to go back home, you are just not quite ready to leave the paradise. 

Life with Kai right now is very close to that paradise. He is so funny and smart and loving and he surprises us and makes us laugh every single day. I wonder if I were able to see all of this if I wasn't pregnant. I think maybe not. I think maybe we are better at realizing and appreciating things when we know they are about to come to an end. For me, this means that I find myself stopped in a moment much more often than ever before trying to suck out every ounce of the happiness and energy that's in it and hold on to it for as long as I can, like when you don't want to go brush your teeth after eating the most delicious dessert, because you just want the flavor to linger for a little bit longer. 

Life will be great with two kids. But life is amazing with only one, too. 

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