|Courtesy of Mesto Banska Bystrica FB|
Christmas came and went and left me in the state of complete laziness. I can't blame it on the food coma, because even though I have eaten plenty, it is still a far cry from what I ingest when offered food under normal (understand non-pregnant) circumstances. I can't blame it on the lack of inspiration, because ideas are floating around and it is as easy as lifting a finger to catch one, but the effort of engaging the muscles just seems not worth the energy. I can probably blame it to a certain extent on the nausea, but that even to me sounds like an excuse that have been used too many times. It gets old.
I think it could be the post Christmas blues. All the presents have been opened, the new toys (for kids and adults) have been played with, the cookies have been eaten and the tree has started raining needles at the same rate as today's sky is shedding water. Or maybe it's the reflecting on the Christmases of the past ten years, and the fact that they have been so very different from the ones I knew when I was growing up and living in Slovakia.
I don't dwell on the things from the past. I am the purger kind of a person - both when it comes to the things that are physical and the things that are emotional. I like to think that the best way to enjoy life to the fullest is to adapt to the new situations. But I am stuck on Christmas. Even that one year which I should remember as the worst one of them all, because my first marriage fell apart, I remember fondly as the last Christmas I spent back home, doing the things I always did, with the people who celebrated the way I knew.
It's not that I don't enjoy Christmases in the United States. I have had a wonderful time this past week. But it feels like taking a part in a friendly, festive, yet foreign get together rather than Christmas. The grass is green instead of covered with snow. It is still more pleasant to order a frappuccino than hot apple cider. We eat pasta with seafood instead of sauerkraut soup, potato salad and schnitzel (unlike many other families in Slovakia, we did not use to have a carp swimming in the bathtub in the weeks leading to Christmas Eve, because there was nobody in our family who would be willing to kill it, and instead of eating a fish dish we opted for Wiener schnitzel.) We exchanged presents on Christmas Eve. It may not sound like it, but it was a completely different experience. It is just about as comparable as a tuba is to an orange.
Sometimes I wonder if a part of it is me being a grown up now. Maybe it plays a role. But I don't think that's it. I can still live the magic of decorating the tree, baking the cookies, wrapping the presents and exchanging the gifts. It is now enriched by seeing the magic of Christmas through the eyes of a two year old. But in the end, it is not exactly the magic of Christmas anymore. It is the magic of a friendly, festive, foreign get together.